A Pregnant Athlete

You never heard of a mind as perverted as mine--Eminem

There was a time in my life when I wasn’t interested in having kids but was absolutely obsessed with the pregnant belly. I thought/think they are incredibly beautiful, plus the whole thing seemed to be a tremendous athletic feat. I secretly wanted to be a surrogate just to experience the workout. One friend asked, “Do you just like sex without the orgasm?”

Well, now that I am with pregnant belly and experiencing the joys of pregnancy, I wonder, “What the F*** was I thinking?”(not about having the kid...) You know how some women love being pregnant and wish they could be this way their entire lives? Well I am not one of them. While the pregnancy has not been difficult (Dear God, please no bed rest!), this experience has been pretty tough for me. But I remind myself that billions of women have done this before and it is the most ordinary thing.

Here are the joys I had to contend with: all day worrying, all day nausea without vomiting, all day nausea with vomiting, insane fatigue, exaggerated disrupted sleep, itchy skin—hives all over my legs and back. There are more, but so far, this is the stuff that felt unbearable. So this next one just hurts the ego. I feel as if I am on a battlefield being attacked my mortars and grenades of cellulite .The enemy is targeting my legs so as to maim me.  The last time my legs were this “smiley” I was eating the one-pound bag of peanut m&m’s and the large bag of nacho Doritos and reading Moby Dick. I’d be so disgusted w/ my nutrition that I’d toss both half eaten bags in the garbage, only to fish it out and finish it. (Wasn’t there a Seinfeld episode about this?) As the snacks/meals were still in their respective containers, I reasoned they were not contaminated. I wish I could say this is an exaggeration, but no. This really happened. And this is why I no longer read great works of literature. It gives me cellulite.

In terms of working out, I am lucky enough to still be able to do most activities. I work out 5-6 days a week, but there is NO intensity to it. Every now and then I do a check (I won’t call it time trial anymore because it upsets the husband) just to see where I am. Of course it means nothing. But I am so fascinated with the increased level of effort when nothing else has changed (other than the fetus in my uterus sucking out all the life and energy out of me). Don’t I sound like a wonderful mom?

Here are the things I miss: the commiseration of tough workouts, racing, feeling like I could scale a mountain any day of the week.

Here are the things I don’t miss: the anxiety of racing, the packed schedule of training (then again, it is summer break).

Here are the things I have embraced: having boobs, having it not be about me (My husband begs to differ. He says it’s about me in a different way now), having boobs, and finally, having a miracle in my belly. 

Comments

[dfergp]

Mama, it's nine (and a half) months. Suck it up! ;) Try not to focus on the negatives or else this precious time in your life is going to be over in a flash and you'll find yourself wishing you could just stuff the kid back in your tummy where you don't have to hear them cry, get up in the middle of the night to feed them and where it's safe and secure from all the hazards of the outside world.

Remember, you're gorgeous! The bad skin, cellulite and other joys of pregnancy will go away once it's over. Also, the nausea will fade over these next few weeks as you continue in your second trimester. You're going to have days were you feel like a complete rock star... just watch. You're also going to develop a sense of invincibility through this process like no other. Why do you think all those post-preggo athletes are so bad ass??? It's because it really is true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and I never heard of anyone dying from cellulite, so the odds are in your favor.

Also, remember, for all those women out there that wish, hope, dream, long to be mothers in the future, you are the walking, living, breathing example of this miracle in action. Be proud of the entire experience and distract yourself from the negative crap. Stay in the moment. You're still scaling mountains every day; they're just a different type of mountain... or maybe your scaling them at high altitude. ;)

Growing a baby is no walk in the park, but it's a beautiful gift. A beautifully extraordinary gift with a tiny little side of cellulite. Ain't no thing... xoxo!

[joncane]

Dear god no bed rest x 2

[nsq]

DFerg--I hear ya! It's crazy to wrap my mind around how incredible this whole process is. I am not comparing anything to my pre-pregnant state and actually relish in seeing my belly grow. There is nothing remarkable in my struggles. It's haughtiness on my part to think that going into this fit would have saved me from some of the little annoyances--namely the feeling sick for months. I guess I want the prize without the work. Silly, I know.
In the mean time, I marvel at what the body can do and look forward to meeting Honeybadger.

[Dfergp]

I can't wait to meet Honeybadger too!!!! Little Baby Honeybadger Sin Quee Cane... sprinting out of mommy's womb with his/her genetically predisposed- already defined, six pack abs. :) HBSQC will be such a cutie!!!

[Lauri]

Miracle In My Belly says it all.