Dear Cheater:
When last I wrote, it was concerning your exploits at the 2009 NYC Marathon. You remember - the race where you printed up your own bib and snuck into the race. If you've forgotten, you can refresh your memory by checking the Brightroom photos of yourself mugging for the camera. By now you've probably realized that writing your real name on your shirt to go with your fake number is kinda like robbing a bank and passing the teller a note written on the back of your business card.
Anywho, as you know, our friends at NYRR didn't take kindly to that little stunt. They threatened to do things to you that you wouldn't do to a farm animal. And you came running back begging forgiveness and probably even sent a bouquet of flowers to Mary Wittenberg. After all, considering what they could have done to you - and what is being done by other race organizers who are bringing criminal charges against other cheaters - a little groveling probably wasn't the worst course of action. Lesson learned, and now you'll be on your best behavior. After all, to cheat again would be like Tiger Woods going out and picking up a floozie after his next tournament. You're too smart for that, right?
Maybe not. As an eagle-eyed reader (thanks Dave) of this humble blog pointed out, apparently you gave away/sold your bib in this year's NYC Half Marathon, which is also a clear violation of NYRR's policy. Didn't you think to tell your friend that she shouldn't pose for photos after the race if she was pretending to be a 25-year old guy? I mean you're sleazy and all, but you clearly need a smarter accomplice next time.
See you then.
Regards,
Jonathan
